Life, it can be wonderful, mouth-watering, spine-tingling, hair-raising, soul-soaring, absolutely beautiful and full of bliss.
Life can also be heart-wrenchingly shit.
Things go wrong, you fall down, all you held dear falls apart. You lose your keys, your favourite person, your purse.You lose yourself.
So for those days where you’re on your knees I have created a list to turn too. A list of how to pull yourself up, dance yourself off and learn to soar into life again as if nothing ever happened to bring you down. To let go of the past and to run arms open into what is to come (much better things – I can promise you that now).
When things go bad, go see new things
Memories can tie you down. Thinking of what was, what you should or shouldn’t have done, thinking of what will never be again, can make everything feel even more sad. (Just like digging a well…you keep digging deeper and deeper, the light disappears as a pinprick above you. And then you hit the water. Next thing the well is filling up and basically you’re drowning).
This is when you need to make new memories. To go see new things and unspoilt places. Things untainted by the seeping sadness spilling over into your past like a knocked over glass of sorrow.
I suggest grabbing a friend and going into nature. Nature has always been there, just being. Out in nature everything that went wrong suddenly seems quite insignificant.
Going for a walk or climbing a mountain is instant stress relief and your mind feels afresh. The wind blows all the sadness away and the sun fills you up with bright life-changing light.
Get up early and see a sunrise – it’ll prove to you even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise (cheers Les Mis).
(Also you can scream from a hilltop and no-one will hear you).
Think about what you love to do. Go do it.
Need some motivation?
Watch some inspiring movies. The Secret Life of Walter Mitty and Eddie the Eagle are my ultimate motivating, inspiring top favourite movies ever. Top-notch cinematography to get the creative vibes buzzing. Rousing soundtracks made for ultimate road trips, summiting mountains, ski fields and 70’s dance floors. Plus storylines that prove to you life isn’t about winning, it’s about the struggle.
It’s about knowing that all you can ever do is do your best, even if that means failing. Failing is remarkable because it means you tried. Plenty of people out there don’t even try. Be better than that. Dare to do what you can…and so you can say whatever happens at the end of the day, you tried.
SO now you’ve watched these movies and you’re feeling utterly inspired to do what makes you happy. Good, now start!
Be it playing a sport, baking and cooking, painting or scrapbooking – you are inspired and now inspire yourself again by doing what you love and seeing how amazing you are. How YOU can make yourself happy. Painting and writing helps to let the emotions out as well – so you can recognise what you’re feeling, accept it and then let it go.
Still stuck for motivation – spend some time on Pinterest (but promise me you’ll avoid the sad quote section).
2. Get up and dance it out
This will also inspire you. And all you need is yourself and some music playing device.
Crank it up loud and lose yourself to the tunes. Spin, turn, sway those hips, reach out your arms, sweep away the worries and be FREE.
(I recommend doing this each morning too. Get out of bed and dance. Literally sets you up for a great day).
Here’s a playlist of dancing crazy songs/inspiring heart songs:
- She Wolf (falling to pieces) by David Guetta ft. Sia
- What I did for Love by David Guetta ft. Emile Sande
- Stitches by Shaun Mendes (just recreate the music video in your own home)
- Fly by Andy Bell
- Eagle Will Fly Again by Howard Jones
- The Sky’s the Limit
- Survivor by Destiny’s Child
- Paradise by Coldplay
- Every teardrop’s a Waterfall by Coldplay
- Really Don’t Care by Demi Lovato ft. Cher Lloyd
- Cough Syrup by Young the Giant
- Wild by Royal Teeth
- Rescue by Yuna
- Step Out by Jose Gonzalez
- A Place in the Sun by Stevie Wonder
- Chandelier by Sia
- I Wanna Get Better by Bleachers
- I Was Here by Beyonce (any song by Beyonce really)
- Any dance song from the 70s
- Boogie Wonderland by Stevie Wonder
- Shake it Off by Taylor Swift (on repeat, always).
(Probably the most random playlist you’ll ever hear, but I find those songs do help).
Note= Hoovering with headphones on and singing and dancing really loud (yes sing LOUD and dance LOUD) is instant happiness, plus productivity as you get work done.
3. Be with people who make you truly happy
Hang out with your friends and your family. Smile and laugh – the more you do it, the easier it will get. Trust me. Let these people who love you lift your spirits and slowly you’ll feel whole again and that much better. Things won’t seem so wrong anymore. Even if you just sit with them, the happiness of other people will sprinkle like glitter all over you.
You are reminded that you are not alone in your struggle. There are so many people out there who are going to help lift you off your knees. And these people will stay in your life, they won’t let you down or leave you. There are people out there who will always love you. Trust in that.
Being with people who make you happy keeps you in the present, it stops you from going back over the memories of the thing which made you sad.
Visit your friends and family. Call them round to visit you. Go out for coffee or dinner or ice cream. Go for a walk. Throw a tennis ball across a field.
4. Eat good food to fill your soul (and maybe that black void left behind)
We all know that it’s better to live to eat than eat to live. Eating food heals your soul. So treat yoself! Eat that chocolate and that ice cream – fill your empty soul. And go out for dinner. Cook your favourite dish. Bake your favourite cookies. Eat meals of good food.
(You’ll be dancing off the calories anyway).
5. Go for a run or do exercise of some sort
Running is great.Stride away from that sadness. Leave that mess all behind. Even if you can only run for five minutes before a stitch grips your side and you have to stop to actually feel the air in your lungs. Feeling the pain of your stitch sucks, but your mind is instantly taken off other sorts of pain. You can also crank up the inspirational music and scream it out as you run. (Just ignore the weird looks of the passers-by – they really wish they had the guts to do the same thing). After a run, your endorphins are pumping. You are on top of the world and can do anything. Mind cleared.
(If you don’t like running – go for a jog. Or alternatively, a power walk).
Chucking or kicking a ball of some sort is also great. Especially in a massive field where you can yell out your frustration as the ball is flung away from you. Get your friends involved too, again friends will make you laugh and feel instantly happier. Throw that sadness away – literally.
Oh yeah – a punching bag can be a good help too. Be strong. Be empowered. Be relieved.
6. Let the bad thoughts drift by as if they are clouds floating by.
This is hard. But it is super beneficial. We often linger on the memories of the thing which went wrong. This endless cycle can make the despair last longer than it should. The memories and thoughts are like weights strapped to your shoulders that keep you on the ground. Your shoulders curled up over your heart. You look down.
Instead look up.
Let the memories and thoughts appear. But don’t grab them, don’t clutch on to them. Let them pass by as if they are clouds just floating by. Notice them, but let them go.
Every now and again you may need to bring in a strong wind to push them out. You may also need a storm and a downpour of rain. That’s okay. Flowers don’t grow without the rain.
But just remember the sun always shines brighter after a storm. Rainbows appear and the clouds disappear as a brilliant blue sky spreads.
And just as good reference – here is a list of what NOT to do when things go wrong
- (Don’t) Wrap yourself up in blankets and be a sad burrito.
- (Don’t) Be by yourself and shut yourself off from those you love.
- (Don’t) Listen to sad songs; they make you cry.
- (Don’t) Dwell on ‘what ifs.’ (Let them be a cloud passing by).
- (Don’t) Eat crap for days on end. I know, I know, I did say eat food to fill your soul. But don’t just eat chocolate, keep balanced – eat vege and meat (or a substitute) – keep healthy. Healthy body = a healthy mind.
- (Don’t) Watch sappy romance films.
I so hope immensely that the first list will help you on those days where things just go wrong.
So stand up – your legs can be shaking.
Lift your head up – your heart can be beating fast.
Take a deeeeeep breathe.
Let it out – let it go.
And take a step.
You can hobble, you can tremble, you can stumble (I mean you did just get hit by a bus of emotion x3), but you must keep moving forward, moving on.
There are far better things that lie ahead than any that you leave behind.
And remember – you tried. That’s all that counts.
Love, love, love,